Optimizing your Couple Counselling Experience: 10 Steps for Success

Written by Paula-Jane Buckland - Flowing into Self

Embarking on Couple Counselling requires dedication and commitment to grow a stronger relationship. Adopting a proactive approach can facilitate the therapeutic process, helping you build your relationship to that place you envision with more ease and effectiveness.

Be Prepared to Do the Work.

Therapy involves navigating difficult emotions and at times can be uncomfortable. For an honest and beneficial counselling experience, recognize the value of your relationship and commit to being present, embracing your emotions and your partner’s with respect and empathy.

Choose the Right Therapist for You Both.

Trust in your therapist is essential. Ensure both partners feel comfortable and confident in the therapist’s expertise at guiding you to strengthen your relationship and holding the space for you. Shop around, ask questions, schedule discovery calls to first meet the therapist. Your time is valuable, so take time to do your research.

Clarify Your Couple Goals.

Before your initial session, openly discuss your wants for couple counselling. Clearly articulate the changes you seek and the aspects of your relationship you aim to strengthen. Reflect individually on your personal goals within the relationship. Foster a shared understanding and agenda, laying the groundwork for a successful therapeutic journey.

Embrace Openness.

It can be daunting to be open and vulnerable, especially in front of your partner and therapist. However, cultivating openness is crucial. Be receptive to your partner’s thoughts and feelings, and in turn they will have a greater ability to hold your vulnerabilities. Understand that defensive mechanisms may surface initially. Learning empathy and respect for each other’s experience is vital.

Be ready to learn.

Couple counselling can be confronting as couple therapists may challenge you by addressing your role in the couple dynamic and individual changes required. Being ready to receive this information takes courage, grace, and trust that the therapist’s guidance aims at the best interests of your relationship.

Schedule Regular Sessions.

Consistency is key. Best results occur when there is dedicated committed time allocated for the couple to connect and heal from the hurts that have occurred. Initially fortnightly sessions are recommended, as progress is made you can transition to monthly sessions and then consider future check-ins. Regular sessions establish a foundation for ongoing communication and learning a new understanding of each other so you can continue thriving in your relationship independently.

Focus on Individual Growth.

Relationship growth requires personal growth. This may be with individual sessions, and or welcoming the growth, self-compassion and awareness required for your own happiness and well-being. Recognise that both partners contribute to relationship dynamic and communication patterns. Positive changes need ownership of your role. Foster awareness, so you can integrate the healthy practices you have learnt in couple counselling to be a better supporter and partner.

Communicate Concerns.

Therapy sessions are yours. If therapy is not going in a direction or at a pace you feel comfortable with, express your concerns. A grounded therapist will value your experience and navigate difficult conversations, ensuring the therapy space remains a safe and comfortable space for you.

Do your Homework.

The therapeutic progress extends beyond the session. Allocate time to reflect on the new perspectives and what has occurred in the session. Whilst significant topics can be reserved for the safety of the therapy space, aim to keep the communication open on topics that feel comfortable to navigate independently. When homework tasks and exercises are allocated to you to engage in outside of the session, prioritise the work and your partner.

Prioritise Connection.

To nurture a flourishing romantic relationship, prioritise dedicated time for building connection and intimacy when you can be present with each other. Engage in fun, exciting, adventurous, and relaxing activities together that strengthen your bond and reflect how your partner feels loved, adored and desired by you. Ensure you keep your conversations flowing after your therapy session together. Consider scheduling a date after couple counselling to centre yourselves, or a creating an opportunity to embrace, breathe and regulate together.

Couple counselling is a transformative journey that requires commitment, openness, and effort from both partners. By following these guidelines, you can maximize the benefits of therapy and cultivate a healthier, more resilient relationship.